Am I Enough?

     Realising that grading day is just over 2 months away, I have to look back and think if the effort I put in this year is enough. Listening to Sifu Brinker yesterday in front of the level 1 class talking about how much dedication this program takes and how much effort needs to be put in. My numbers are not anything great, and I'm finding it hard to make recording them a daily habit. As I'm writing this I have pushups/situps and form reps recorded in multiple different locations, and even if I added them together they wouldn't be close to what I need. Acts of kindness are in the same boat too, but probably less so considering I haven't been as mindful as I'd like to be.

    Reflecting on this, and being told on saturday that there are still requirements that I have to fulfill (some of them I apparently missed) I'm having my doubts as to if I'll succeed in December. There have definitely been times where I could have had a different approach and I'll always smack myself in the side of the head when I think about that.

    I know I shouldn't be focusing on my past mistakes too much, but I just can't help but think that it might have been the difference I need. All the requirements I haven't completed yet might come back to haunt me, and if I focus on them now will I have enough time to be able to apply the lessons they grant before the deadline. I think, going forward, they shouldn't be my main focus but they shouldn't be ignored either. They are valuable in their own right, and although they may not help me now, they will certainly help me down the line at some point (otherwise why are they there in the first place, right?).

Comments

  1. Jeff BrinkerSeptember 30, 2023 at 9:41 AM

    You are off base here and you are forgetting what this is about. This is not about "grading". This is about mastery. What you have done in the past (or not done) is only relevant to why you are where you are today. It has no relevance to where you want to be tomorrow. What you do today has all the relevance to where you will be tomorrow. Stay present Jordan and stop lamenting about wasted time and opportunities. Start celebrating your limitless potential and proceed boldly.

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